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PATSY 



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I 



BAKER, Hamilton Place, Boston, Mass. 



PATSY 



A Comedy for Female Characters 
In Two Acts 



" Her real name was Patricia, but thus she did 
decide, 
That if they called her ' Patsy,' she need not 
be dignified." 



By 
fVL^. FANNIE BARNETT LINSKY 

Author of "Forest Acres, ' etc. 




BOSTON 

WALTER H. BAKER COMPANY 

1921 






PATSY 



CHARACTERS 



Miss Lucretia Lane, "Aunt Lu." 

NiTA Farrell, her niece. 

Ruth Fielding, Nita s chum. 

Beatrice Edwards 

Phyllis Edwards 

Other Girls 

Hilda Williams, aft insurance agent. 

Patricia Muldoon, the maid. 



'.a s cnum. 
] f^in^- \ Nita' s friends. 



Scene, — The living-room and library of " Lanescote," the home 
of Miss Lane and her niece. 

Time.— The Present. 

Act L Afternoon. Three days before the wedding. June. 
Act n. The next day. 




Copyright, 1921, by Fannie Barnett Linsky 
As author and proprietor. 

Professional stage and tnoving picture rights 
reserved by the author. 



cr 



^P 15 1921 ©CI.D 58«:i6 



«%^* \ 



SCENERY 

The room should be furnished in a manner suitable to 
a home of wealth and culture. Library setting. Piano 
and bookcases conveniently placed. Library table, up r., 
to be sort of table that would serve as dining table as 
well. Newspapers and books scattered on it. Also bon- 
bon dish containing candy. 

Mirror on wall above bookcase. Small table suitably 
placed containing telephone — if possible concealed by 
" telephone doll " or any handsome covering. 

Large elaborate screen shutting off rear corner l. 

Cedar chest or Utility Box on floor near screen. 

Tea wagon, containing pitcher and glasses, near 
hostess when curtain rises. 
' Exits down r. and up l., presumably to other rooms. 
Door at rear l., presumably to grounds and street. One 
window in rear wall near door looking out to grounds. 
Others where convenient. Windows open. 

Bell or bell cord, rear wall, to ring for maid. One or 
two floor lamps if possible, which in first act may be 
lighted, and in second act may be switched off one at a 
time to give impression of darkening of room owing to 
storm. 

Summer hats on top of piano, and pretty sewing bags 
hanging on backs of chairs. 



CHARACTERS 



Miss Lane is a spinster about fifty, dressed well and 
becomingly in modern costume befitting her age and 
wealth. A cultured, refined woman. 

NiTA and her Friends are dressed suitably for young 
girls, in pretty summer costumes. The twins to be 

3 



4 CHARACTERS 

dressed alike and one to echo what the other says. The 
old-fashioned costume for Nita may be any pretty gown 
of the period of fifty years ago. 

Hilda wears a dark dress, and has a business-like 
manner. 

Patricia wears the regulation costume for a maid. 



PATSY 

ACT I 

SCENE.— /4 living-room in Miss Lane's house. 

(The curtain rises on group of girls seated about stage 
in semicircle, with sewing in laps. Babel of voices. 
Tea wagon near Nita, all apparently just finishing 
refreshments of lemonade and cookies as curtain 
goes up. NiTA collects glasses, rolls tea wagon out 
of way and cdl resume hemming napkins.) 

NiTA (jumps up to pass candy). Really, I think it's 
awfully nice of you girls to come and help sew on my 
trousseau. If you do all those napkins for me, I shan't 
have a thing left to sew after I'm married. I'm pretty 
nearly all ready as it is. Think of it ! Three whole days 
still to the wedding, and everything done ! I never heard 
of such a thing. But that's all because of Aunt Lu. 
She's so forehanded, you know — she'd never be guilty of 
leaving things to the last minute. 

Ruth. I think your aunt's a trump, Nita. You al- 
ways were the luckiest creature! A lovely aunt like 
Miss Lucretia to bring you up and spoil you and give 
you everything your heart desired, and now a dandy fel- 
low like my brother Bob to fall in love with you, (Ducks 
a sofa cushion which Nita shies at her. ) and marry you. 
O land! (Mock envy.) Why do some girls have 
everything ! 

Beatrice. You've got a nerve, calling your own 
brother a dandy fellow. You hate yourself, don't you ? 

Phyllis. Yes ! Don't you ? 

5 



6 PATSY 

Ruth. Well, he is a dandy fellow. Don't take my 
word for it, ask Nita. {All laugh.) 

Beatrice. Oh, Nita, do show us some of your things 
if you have them all ready. We're simply dying to see 
them. 

Phyllis. Simply dying. 

Nita. Well, don't die, my children, for goodness' 
sake. I don't want to be an executioner. I want to be 
a " blushing bride." So gather round, all of you, and 
I'll show you some of my collection. 

(Goes to cedar chest. Takes out various pieces of 
table linen, lingerie, etc. Passes them to girls.) 

Ruth. My, what beautiful things, Nita. Gosh! I 
begin to think my brother's the lucky one! (Looks at 
luncheon cloth.) And what exquisite embroidery. Who 
did your monogram like that, Nita ? 

Nita. Oh, that's Aunt Lu's work. You know she's 
a wonderful needle-woman. She did most of the initial- 
ing on my linens. She's just been perfectly darling to 
me, anyway, all my life, and she's going to give me a 
wonderful wedding gift. What it is, she won't tell, but 
she says it's going to be something fine, and when Aunt 
Lu says that, you may be sure it will be something worth 
while. I'm not to know what it is till just before the 
wedding, and I'm just as curious as I can be. And now, 
girls — I can't show you my dresses because they're all 
up-stairs, but I did bring just one down here to show you 
because it has such an interesting history. 

( Goes behind screen and brings out old-fashioned hoop- 
skirt gown.) 

Beatrice. Oh, how lovely ! 

Phyllis. How lovely ! 

Others. How dear; how adorable! (Etc.) 

Nita. Well, this dress was my mother's, and the day 
before her wedding she wore it to have her picture 
taken in. 



PATSY 7 

Ruth. Oh, yes, I know — that large picture up in Miss 
Lucretia's room. 

NiTA. Yes. You see, Mother was Aunt Lu's fa- 
vorite sister, and when she died, when I was born, Aunt 
Lu took me and I've been with her ever since. Well, 
Aunt Lu has taken a notion that I'm to dress up in this 
same costume to-morrow morning, just as Mother did, 
and have my picture taken. She says I'll understand 
why later on. But of course I'd do it to please her any- 
way. So you'll all see my picture as " an old-fashioned 
lady." 

{Curtseys. While she is speaking, the bell rings. 
Patsy goes to door, rear. Comes back with pack- 
age.) 

Patsy. For you. Miss Nita. 

(Leaves room by door l.) 

Nita (lays gown across back of chair). Wedding 
presents already! How exciting. (Opens package.) 
By the way, girls, did you notice our latest? That's 
Aunt Lu's new maid, " fresh from the * auld sod,' " and 
she's fresh all right. Aunt Lu and I went down to the 
office three times to interview her before we could make 
up our minds to take her. Her name is " Patricia," if 
you please! (Holds up silver bonbon dish.) Oh, girls, 
isn't this just beautiful? (Looks at card.) From Mr. 
Sherry, — that's Aunt Lu's lawyer. He was here yester- 
day attending to some business matters. Isn't he a 
peach to send me such a lovely gift ! 

Ruth. It certainly is a beauty. You are the luckiest 
girl! (Gives her a little hug.) 

Beatrice. That's a beauty, Nita. 

Phyllis. Yes, a beauty ! 

Beatrice. But really, dear, we girls must Le moving. 
I'm sure it's later than we think ! 

Phyllis. Yes, we must be going. 

Nita. Oh, don't hurry, girls, Ruth, you'll stay, 
won't you? (Ruth nods.) 



8 PATSY 

Others. Oh, we must go ; it's getting late ! 

NiTA. Well, Ruth and I will walk down the road with 
you a little way. It's just been lovely of you girls to 
come and I've enjoyed having you so much. (Girls all 
put on hats while she is speaking. Nita gets hers from 
behind screen. Passes dish of candy once more.) Here, 
girls, have a last piece before you go. Bob sent me this 
box from Washington. These caramels are delicious. 
(All eat, and chat. Nita rings bell. Patricia appears, 
L.) Oh, Patricia, please straighten out this room, and 
hang that dress very carefully away. Tell Miss Lane 
that Miss Ruih is staying for tea, and that we have just 
gone down the road a bit with the other girls. 

Patsy. Yes, Miss. (She makes a little curtsey. 
Girls exit, laughing and chatting, Patricia gazing after 
them. Goes to window, back r., and watches them down 
road. Comes back to c. Folds up linens. Pauses, cloth 
in hand.) My, ain't Miss Nita just grand, and ain't that 
an iilegant hat she wears. Sure I'm thinking that would 
be most becomin' to my style o' beauty. It must be foine 
to be rich (Shakes cloth.) and purty (Shakes.), and en- 
gaged (Shakes.), and have everything ye want. (Puts 
linens in box. Picks up gown. Put's it on hanger. 
Gives it little shake. Paper envelope falls on floor. 
Patricia does not notice. Goes behind screen wiih 
gown. Just then voice of Miss Lane heard calling 
from next room, " Patricia, Patricia, where are yout " 
Patsy, aside, emerging from behind screen.) Sure, now 
where would I be but here. (Aloud.) Here I am in the 
liberry, Miss Lane. Do you want me? 

Miss L, Yes, come here please for a moment. 
(Patricia starts for door l., sees envelope, picks it up and 
unconsciously tucks it in pocket of apron. Goes toward 
door but before she reaches it Miss Lane appears.) Oh, 
there you are, Patricia, Never mind if you are busy. 
Have you seen Miss Nita? 

Patsy. Oh, yes, ma'am, she said as how I was to tell 
you that she wint down the road with the gals, and as 
how Miss Ruth would stay to tea. 



PATSY 9 

(Continues to straighten up room, very noisily. Miss 
Lane seats self at table. Picks up newspaper. 
Watches Patricia over top. Starts at each noise. 
Patricia finally tips over chair. ) 

Miss L. Good gracious, Patricia! Can you not be 
more careful? I do dislike noise so much. 

Patsy. Yes, ma'am, I don't like it mesilf, not a bit 
of it. 

Miss L. Well, then, please make a little less. By the 
way, did the young ladies seem to enjoy the afternoon? 

Patsy. Oh, an' that they did. Miss Lane. And thim 
all lookin' so purty, and Miss Nita was so happy like; 
a-showin' thim all the purty thmgs (Miss Lane nods.) 
and they all sewed on the napkms tor her, and just in the 
middle of it all the parcel boy brought Miss Nita a 
present and I brought it in to her — and dearie me it jest 
remoinded me of the auld days in Donegal, when we'd all 
gather together whin anny one was goin' to be married, 
and we'd 

Miss L. Mercy, child, how your tongue does wag. 
Don't you ever get tired talking? 

Patsy. Sure I niver gets the chance. 

Miss L. Well, I surely get very tired listening to you; 
and how you ever got the name Patricia is more than I 
can understand. 

Patsy. How I ivver got it ! Sure I got it because me 
father giv it to me, that's how ! And though it's Patricia 
that's really me name, sure no one ivver calls me that. 
It's Patsy I am to everybody. Me father was that dis- 
appointed whin he found I wasn't a boy that he vowed 
I'd have a boy's name anyhow. 

Miss L. Yes, yes, that is very interesting. 

(Turns back to paper.) 

Patsy. But please, ma'am, and will you be callin* me 
Patsy? The other sounds too dignified for me. Ye see 
if there's one thing I haven't got it's dignity. 

Miss L. (aside), I'm afraid there's more than one. 
(Aloud.) Well, I can hardly say that I feel very com- 



lO PATSY 

fortable about calling a young woman Patsy, but if it 
will make you any happier (Aside.) and stop your tongue 
from wagging, why, I suppose there can be no harm in it. 

Patsy. Oh, no, ma'am, no harm at all, sure. I'm not 
the kind that fits " Patricia " at all, at all. Patsy's more 
my style. Fd like to go on the stage {Dances a few 
steps.) if I had me own way. 

Miss L. Patricia! 

Patsy. Patsy, if you please, ma'am. Well, and why 
not? Is it shocked ye are? Now I don't see why. I 
think I'd make a foine chorus girl. I may not have 
dignity but I am graceful. 

(Dances a few stepf, humming.) 

Miss L. (freezingly) . That will do, Patric' — I mean 
Patsy. I am not interested in your leanings towards the 
chorus. 

Patsy. Oh, I'd not be leaning indeed. Miss Lane. I'd 
stand up very straight so as to make a good impression 
on the front row. Why, do ye know me father's cousin's 
daughter was a maid to a high-tone actress back home, 
and she looked me over and said I was just perfect all 
except for one thing. 

Miss L. (trying to read). Indeed! 

Patsy. Yes, ma'am, jest one thing. And ye'd never 
guess that. (Coming closer, in a dramatic whisper.) 
I've got false teeth ! 

Miss L. (shocked). Good gracious girl! What is 
that to me? 

Patsy (triumphantly). There, I knew you never 
would suspect it! It doesn't spoil me beauty any, — now 
does it? 

Miss L. Impossible! 

Patsy (straightening chairs). Well, now as I was 
tellin' ye, me father's cousin's daughter 

(Enter Nita and Ruth. Nita kisses Miss Lane; 
Ruth shakes hands.) 

Nita. Hello, Auntie dear, we've had such a lovely 
afternoon. 



PATSY !I 

Ruth. Yes indeed, the girls were all so interested in 
Nita's outfit. (Remove hats. Patricia takes them.) 

Patsy. My, but that's an illegant hat, Miss Nita. I 
always did love that color. (Puts hats on piano.) 

Nita. Well, if you are extra nice all next week and 
help Auntie as much as you can, I may give it to you 
when I get married. 

Patsy (zviih a curtsey). Oh, thank you, ma'am. 

Miss L. That will do now, Patric' — I mean Patsy. 
(The two girls look surprised. Exit Fatrici a, l.) My, 
but that girl is a chatterbox. She'll be the death of me 
yet. Insists that I call her Palsy — says Patricia's too 
dignified. How do you like that? 

Nita. Well, she's smart, just the same. Several 
times I've sent her on errands and she really used a little 
common sense — that's more than most of them will do. 
Oh, and Auntie, did you see the lovely gift that Mr. 
Sherry sent me? 

Miss L. Why no! 

Nita (goes to piano, fakes down box containing gift, 
accidentally knocks down dish containing chocolates). 
Goodness! I guess all the excitement has gone to my 
fingers. 

Miss L. Never mind, dear, don't let it unnerve you. 
(Rings bell. Patricia appears.) Patsy, please pick up 
the candy. Miss Nita accidentally upset the dish. (All 
three look at the gift.) Well, that is certainly very nice, 
dear, for a first gift. I am sure there are many more 
even nicer ones coming later. 

(Pats Nita's cheek. Picks up paper once more. Ruth 
takes magazine. Nita strolls to piano. Puts gift on 
top. Drums a few notes. If possible, might play 
and sing a little song. Meantime Patricia, on all 
fours, picks up caramels. Glances quickly at others, 
sees no one looking, slips piece of candy in her 
mouth. Continues to hunt for moment, suddenly 
springs to feet in great distress. Makes numerous 
facial contortions but does not speak.) 

Nita (suddenly) . Oh, Auntie dear, suppose we have 



12 PATSY 

our dinner in here to-night, since we are just the three of 
us. Ruth's not company now. I think it's lots more 
cozy than the dining-room. 

Miss L. (looking up). All right, dear, I'm perfectly 

willing. Patsy, will you please set places for the 

Good Heavens, what is the matter ? 

(Ruth jumps up. Knocks over chair in excitement. 
NiTA rushes forward, seizes Patricia by arm, 
shakes her.) 

Ruth. Heavens, I think she is going to have a fit, I'll 
get some water. 

(Rushes out and back with glass.) 

NiTA. Have you got a pain ? Can't you tell me where 
it hurts you ? 

(Miss Lane wrings hands agitatedly. Patricia mo- 
tions wildly with hands. Shakes head. Points to 
candy dish.) 

Miss L. I don't understand what she means, do you ? 
Ruth. Do you suppose she wants some candy ? 

(Patricia makes gurgling sound, shakes head violently. 
Finally opens mouth with sudden jerk.) 

Patsy (half inarticulately). It was a caramel. Me 
teeth. (Rushes from room, r.) 

Miss L, (with little shriek throws up hands and bursts 
out laughing). Well, bless my soul, did you ever hear 
anything like it? (Laughs again. The girls look mysti- 
fied.) Why — er — ha-ha-ha, the creature just confessed 
to me that she had false teeth, and the caramel must have 
stuck to them. Ha, ha, that girl will be the death of me 
yet. (Girls laugh heartily.) 

NiTA (wiping eyes). Ha, ha, poor Bob's nice chocolate 
caramels all the way from Washington. Well, well, I'll 
keep the candy out of sight from now on. Come on, 
Ruth, we'll get the table ready and give Patsy a chance 
to collect her scattered wits and teeth. 



i 



PATSY 13 

Miss L. I guess I'd better go and see if she's all 
right. I never know exactly what to expect of her. 

[Exit, R. 

(NiTA and Ruth move table c. stage.) 

NiTA (going behind screen). Here's the cloth, Ruth. 
I'll bring all the dishes in here. (Leaves room, l. Ruth 
spreads cloth, etc. Nita reappears with tea wagon con- 
taining dishes, silver, etc. The two girls proceed to set 
table.) Bob said he might get back to-night some time. 
He promised to call up if it wasn't too late. 

Ruth. Yes,- he told Mother he might get home either 
to-night or some time to-morrow. Isn't it to-morrow you 
are to sit for your picture, Nita? 

Nita. Yes, in the morning. Do you know, I think 
it's rather queer that Aunt Lu should want me to wear 
that old-fashioned gown of Mother's, because Auntie 
really is very up to date in most things, but when I sug- 
gested that we have the dress fixed up a bit modern she 
didn't seem to want me to a bit, so I wouldn't think of 
hurting her. I'd really prefer wearing a dark dress or 
suit, and that hat. (Nodding to where hat rests.) I'm 
awfully fond of that purple hat. 

Ruth (drily). Patsy seems to share your fondness 
for it. 

Nita (laughs). Why, so she does — but then no harm, 
she's young and I suppose she likes pretty things. 
(Glances at wrist.) Pretty nearly time for tea; ah, here 
you are, dear. 

(Enter Miss Lane, r.) 

Miss L. Everything's ready; we'll sit right down. 
(They sit.) Well, Patsy seems quite subdued for the 
moment. Sh ! Sh ! (Enter Patricia zvith first course, 
and waits on table zvith marked awkwardness. Trips, 
and puts hot dish against Miss Lane's arm. Takes away 
wrong plate, etc. All eat.) Do you know, Nita, that I 
have been thinking that with wedding gifts coming and 
so many extra valuables in the house, it might be a wise 



14 PATSY 

plan to take out some extra insurance on your things. 
I believe in an ounce of prevention every time. 

NiTA. Why, yes, I think that would be a very good 
idea. 

Ruth. Well, Miss Lane, if you do intend to do such 
a thing {Mercy! as Patricia tips over glass of water.) 
I wish you would let me send an old school friend of 
mine to you. Her name is Hilda Williams, and she's 
gone into the insurance business since her father died. 
She's a dear, and I'd really like to put a little business in 
her way. 

Miss L. Why, certainly, Ruth dear. (Good Heavens I 
as Patricia touches her with hot casserole.) I am al- 
always glad to help any young person just starting out. 

Ruth. I'll telephone and ask her to come out here 
this evening, may I? If you will excuse me I'll do it 
right now while we are waiting for dessert. (Goes to 
'phone. Gives number.) Hello, hello, this you, Hilda? 
Well, Hilda, could you come out to Miss Lane's home to- 
night on a little matter of business ? Yes, Nita's ! you 
know where. Yes, we'll look for you. All right. Good- 
bye. (Comes back to table. They finish eating.) I'm 
sure Hilda will take care of your business very satis- 
factorily. She was the brightest girl in school, and every 
one felt so sorry when her family met reverses and she 
had to go to work. 

(All rise from table. Enter Patricia, l.) 

Miss L. I would like to write a letter before it gets 
too late, so I'll leave you girls to chat. [Exit Miss Lane. 

Nita. Come out on the porch, Ruth, It's such a lovely 
night. 

Ruth. Don't you think you better have a wrap of 
some sort, Nita ? You know we can't have you catching 
cold just now above all times. 

Nita. Oh, Ruth dear, don't be foolish! It's just as 
warm as it can be ! We don't need a thing ! 

[Exit both, arm in arm. 

(Patricia clears table. Puts dishes on tea wagon, 



PATSY 15 

takes it out. Returns. Shakes out cloth. Tele- 
phone rings. She answers.) 

Patsy. Oh, hello, hello, who's this? Oh, and is it 
yersilf ? No, it's all right. They're all gone out to gaze 
at the stars, ha, ha. No, I can talk fer a minit, but no 
longer. They might be comin' back. And how is it ye 
are out on yer beat this early ? OJi, so ye came out early 
to talk to me, now did ye ? Ye haven't even got yer uni- 
form on. Indeed! Sure you kissed the old Blarney 
stone all right. What's that? Vvoald I come out and 
have a word with ye on the corner? Well — ^now — 
(Hesitates. Hears slight noise.) whist now, hold the 
line a minit 

{Puts covering over telephone. Enter Ruth.) 

Ruth. Patsy, will you please give me a scarf for 
Miss Nita? It's a little cool out on the veranda, and I 
don't want her to take cold. 

Patsy. Oh, sure, I will. Miss Ruth. {Goes behind 
screen and returns with shawl.) Here it is, Miss Ruth. 

Ruth. Thank you. Patsy, that will do nicely. You 
see we have to be extra careful of Miss Nita this week, 
so that nothing will mar the plans for the wedding. 

[Exit Ruth. 

(Patricia rushes to telephone, uncovers it and talks.) 

Patsy. Hello, now, are ye there? Oh, sure and I 
thought ye'd get tired waiting. What? Ye'd never get 
tired waitin' fer me. Well, now sure and that's very 
kind of ye. What's that? Oh, will I come out? Well, 
{Hesitates.) well — seein' as how ye've been so patient — I 
— might! But mind ye, I could only stay a minit if 
I come. I'll just slip out without tellin' any one and 
I'll have to be back before Miss Lane comes down stairs. 
All right, then, I'll come right away. On the 
next block — not too near the house! — Some one might 
see me. Ah ! g'wan with ye ! (Hangs up receiver, takes 
off apron, rolls it in hall, looks about for place to hide it 
out of sight. Finally tucks it in behind bookcase. 



I 6 PATSY 

Looks about hurriedly. Pats hair. Goes toward piano. 
Hesitates. Finally takes Nita's hat, puts it on, surveys 
self with satisfaction in glass. Aloud.) Sure she said 
she was goin' to give it to me. I'll only be gone a minute 
and she'll never miss it. [Exits hurriedly. 

(Enter Miss Lane, l. Nita and Ruth stroll in from 
outdoors, arm in arm Bell rings. No one ap- 
pears to answer.) 

Miss L. Well, I wonder where Patsy is now! 

Ruth. Oh, let me go. Miss Lane; that is probably 
Hilda now. (Goes to outer door. Reenters with Hilda 
Williams.) Miss Lane, I want you to know my old 
school friend, Hilda Williams. This is Miss Lane, Hilda, 
and this is Nita Farrell, who is soon to be my sister-in- 
law. 

(Hilda shakes hands with both. Removes hat and 
coat.) 

Miss L, I'm so glad you've come up this evening 
while we haven't any guests, and I'm going to take you 
right up to my room to talk over this little matter and 
get it over with, and then the girls may have you for a 
real social time. 

Hilda. Well, I'm sure that will be very nice. (Turns 
to go.) I'll see you girls later. 

[Exit Hilda and Miss Lane, r. 

Nita. Dear me, it seems so lonesome here without 
Bob. Let's play a game of " Canfield," shall we, Ruth ? 

Ruth. Yes, I'd love to. 

(They sit at table, facing audience. Patricia stealth- 
ily enters at back, breathless, hat in hand. Attempts 
to replace hat on piano, makes sound. Nita jumps 
and turns.) 

Nita. Good Heavens, Patsy, how you startled me? 
I had no idea you were there. Where have you been ? 

Patsy. Where have I bin — why — why — ^now where 
would I be, Miss Nita? 



PATSY 17 

NiTA. Well, how should I know, — and what are you 
doing with my hai? 

Patsy. Why — why — -nothing, — of course. I — I — was 
just going to put it away for you. 

NiTA. Well, all right — put it away then, but you 
don't have to be so stealthy in your movements. You 
make me nervous. (Telephone rings. Patricia starts 
to go, L., but stands in doorway listening.) Oh, perhaps 
that's Bob. {Runs to 'phone.) Hello, hello, yes, this is 
Nita. Oh, Bob darling, it is you? When did you get in ? 
What? Why, I don't understand you. You've been in 
town some time ! Why, what makes you talk so queer ? 
You what ! You've lost all faith in me. Why, what do 
you mean ? You realize how I've been playing with you. 
You saw me out with another young man. You recog- 
nized my hat, {Getting angry.) really! That's how I 
act when I think you're out of town. You were com- 
ing up here — well, {Freezingly.) don't inconvenience 
yourself, will you? If that's your opinion, why, it's use- 
less for me to say anything. I don't care what you saw. 
Good-bye. {Bangs down receiver and turns to Ruth.) 
Well, did you ever hear of such a thing? He said the 
worst things. He saw me out with another young man, 
saw me run when he came in sight, and he was so positive 
and so unjust. I — I — {Bursts into tears.) I never want 
to see him again. I shall break my engagement this 
minute. {Sobs.) 

Ruth {comforts her). There, dear, now don't take 
it so hard. I'm sure he didn't mean to be so hasty. 
Come on up-stairs and we'll talk it over and see what's 
best to do. [Exit Girls, Nita still weeping. 

Patsy {coming to c). Glory be to St. Peter, and 
what a mess I've made now. There'll be the divvil to 
pay for sure, and I'll lose me job and thin what'll I 
ever do? {Begins to sniffle.) Oh, why was I ever 
tempted to go out to talk to that old Barry Gilligan at 
all, at all. Men are the very divvil anyway. {Goes to 
window and peers out. Starts back.) Good Lord, if 
there ain't Mr. Bob standin' there across the street lookin' 
over here. I suppose he is decidin* to come in and that'll 



l8 PATSY 

be the finish o' me. (Thinks.) I know what I'll do. 
I'll tell him the truth meself, and trust to me Irish luck. 

{Seizes hat belonging to Hilda and rushes out back. 
Reenter Nita and Ruth, the former still wiping 
her eyes, latter trying to comfort her.) 

Ruth. Don't feel so badly, dear, I know it will all 
come out right. 

Nita. Well, I wouldn't care if he'd only asked me, 
but he was so sure. I just can't understand it at all. 
{Goes to window. Peers out. Starts back.) Well! 
Ruth Fielding, there's your precious brother now, right 
across the street, and he's walking with a girl. Look at 
him. (Ruth goes to window.) There, he's patting her 
arm. Very affectionate, I'm sure (Sarcastically.) but I 
must say he might have had the decency to keep a little 
further away from the house and not flaunt his affairs 
right in my face. (Cries again.) I never would have 
believed that Bob would do such a thing. 

Ruth. But, Nita dear, I'm sure he will explain it all. 
I know that everything's all right. (Puts arm about her. ) 

(Enter Miss Lane and Hilda.) 

Miss L. Well, we're all through with tiresome details 
of business. Why ! Why ! what is this ? Tears ? From 
a girl who is so soon to be a happy bride. What is the 
trouble ? 

Nita (weeping). I guess there'll be no " happy bride " 
for me. I shall break my engagement at once, unless 
certain things are very thoroughly explained by some. 

(Enter Patricia, breathless, her hair blown, and hat 
awry, and with a long box of flowers under arm. 
Runs to c, gives box to Nita, who looks at her in 
astonishment. Gives note to Miss Lane ; then stands 
and smiles at everybody. Miss Lane opens note and 
reads aloud.) 

Miss L. (reads). "Ask Patsy " — why, what on earth 



\ 



PATSY 19 

does that mean? Ask Patsy — what? Whatever is this 
all about ? 

Hilda. Well, I don't know what you are supposed to 
ask her, Miss Lane, but I'd like to ask her what she is 
doing with my hat? 

Patsy (hands going quickly to head). Lord bless us, 
I fergot all about it. Sure, I only lended it fer a minute. 
You don't mind, now do you? 

Miss L. Patsy! where have you been? 

Patsy. Why, I've been out with a young man. 

NiTA. But where did you get these flowers ? 

{Opens box.) 

Patsy. From Mr. Bob, of course. 

Miss L, {throwing up her hands). Well, I must say 
I don't understand, and I detest mysteries. For good- 
ness* sake. Patsy, whatever it is I am supposed to ask 
you, consider it asked, and please straighten out this 
tangle. 

Patsy {looking as if she enjoyed herself immensely). 
Well now, bless your heart, don't get all befoozled (Miss 
Lane gives indignant start.) over a little nothing at all, 
at all. Now sit ye down here {Bringing chair.), and you 
{To NiTA.) sit ye there, and you {To Ruth.) here, and 
you {To Hilda, handing her her hat.) sit right there. 
And now I'll tell yez the whole story. {Stands in c, 
the others seated about her in semicircle, facing audience, 
and proceeds in great enjoyment.) Well now, ye see, I 
have a frind, and his name is Barry Gilligan, and he's a 
nice boy, he is, and good lookin' too, and 

Miss L. Yes, yes, but we are not interested in your 
friends, Patsy. Please get to the important details. 

Patsy {hurt). Well now, and ain't I comin' to *em 
just as fast as me tongue kin travel ? 

NiTA. Yes, yes, but for pity's sake go on! 

Patsy. Well now, ye see, Barry, he's on the beat here 
at the corner and once in a while 

(As she goes on with graphic description the curtain 
slowly falls, her voice trailing off to indistinctness.) 

SLOW CURTAIN 



ACT II 

SCENE. — Same as Act I. The next day. 

(Large vase of flowers on piano. Patricia flourishing 
duster. Bell rings; she goes to door. Enter Hilda.) 

Hilda. Good-morning, Patsy. Is Miss Lane at 
leisure? I want to see her on a matter of business. 

Patsy. But she's not in, Miss WilHams. She's gone 
out this half hour, and do you know (Voice growing 
mysterious.), I think there's something the matter with 
Miss Lane this morning. 

Hilda. Something the matter? Well, no wonder. 
You don't seem to realize, Patsy, hov/ much your silly con- 
duct yesterday upset Miss Lane. I know she was very 
angry, and you came mighty near losing your position. 

Patsy (dolorously). Oh, faith, and I do know that. 
Miss WiUiams. If Mr. Bob didn't come in and put in a 
good word for me and fix it all up with Miss Nita, I 
don't know where I'd be at all, at all. 

Hilda. Well, will you tell Miss Nita that I'm here, 
Patsy? 

Patsy. Faith, and she's not here either. She's all 
dressed up in her sainted mother's hoop-skirts, and she's 
went to have her picture taken. 

Hilda. Oh, yes, I had forgotten this was the day she 
was to sit for her picture. 

Patsy. But sure, and Miss Lane did seem awful up- 
set over something about that dress. She kept walking 
all around MiSs Nita, and her eyes filled up every time 
she looked at her — but she kept askin' Miss Nita all the 
time, " Did you find anything, dear ? " or "Anything 
queer about the dress, darling?" and when Miss Nita 
went out of the room her aunt kept walking up and down, 
saying to herself, " How dreadful if it is lost. But I 
must not let the child know and spoil her picture ! " and 
all such kind of talk. 
20 



PATSY 21 

Hilda. Well, probably it was Nita's dress. It re- 
minds Miss Lane so much of her favorite sister that it 
upset her. 

Patsy. Sure, it may be so, but it didn't seem like that 
to me. 

Hilda. I think I'll wait here a few minutes, Patsy; 
but if they don't come in soon I'll have to go and come 
in later. 

Patsy. Very well. Miss Williams. [Exit Patricia, r. 

(Hilda unbuttons coat and goes to bookcase, looks for 
book. Finally selects one from lowest shelf, and in 
taking it out draws with it a very much wrinkled 
apron. Holds it up. ) 

Hilda. Hello, what's this? Some more of that mis- 
chief Patsy's doings, I'll wager. If I ever show this to 
Miss Lane it will certainly be all up with Patsy this time. 
(Hesitates.) Well, I guess I won't be hard on the poor 
girl. One can't help liking her even if she is such a minx. 
(Seats herself at table and attempts to read for a mo- 
ment, then tosses book aside.) There's no sign of the 
folks yet, so I guess I had better not wait. (Rings. Pa- 
tricia enters.) Patsy, I don't believe I'll wait any 
longer. When Miss Lane comes in you may say that I 
will return later. And, Patsy, by the way, do you know 
anything about this? (Holds out apron.) I found it 
tucked away on the bottom shelf of the bookcase. 

Patsy (taking apron). Why, bless my soul, yes. I 
forgot all about it. It's my apron, of course. I hid it 
in there yesterday morning whin I wint out — to see — to 
see — well, whin I wint out. 

Hilda. It's lucky for you I found it, for I'm afraid 
Miss Lane is hardly in a mood to excuse any more of 
your pranks. I'd advise you to be a little more careful 
in the future. 

Patsy (curtseys). Yes, ma'am; thank you, ma'am. 
(Exit Hilda, u Patricia comes to c, humming, hold- 
ing apron in hand. Telephone rings. She answers.) 
Hello, hello — oh, and it's you, is It? Yes, this is me. 
You knew it right away? Well now, and aren't you 



22 PATSY 

the discerning crature! And what is it ye want now? 
Ye're out on the beat early, are ye? And will I come 
out? Faith, and I will not. Sure, and do ye know all 
the f oine fix I got in by goin' out to talk to ye yesterday ? 
I nearly lost me job. Oh, ye're sorry, are ye? Well, 
now that's nice of ye, I'm sure! No, I can't come just 
the same. What's that? Ye're lonesome! Will I give 
ye something to remember me by? Well, faith (Looks 
quickly around room.), that and I will! Wait a minit! 
(Goes to vase and takes out flower. Goes to table, looks 
all about. Runs to chair, takes up apron, wraps flower 
in it; goes back to 'phone.) Are ye there? Oh, ye are, 
are ye? Well, now, and I've got a souvenir fer ye. 
Come over on the lawn and I'll throw something out of 
the window to ye — and mind, I've wrapped it up in me 
apron, and I want me apron back. How will ye git it 
to me ? Well, let me think. Oh, I know. Yc can watch 
this window, and whin I'm in here all alone I'll let the 
shade run up to the top, and that'll be your signal, and 
ye can roll up the apron and throw it in to me through 
the window. All right. Foine. Good-bye. 

(Takes up flower, goes to window, leans out and 
throws bundle out. Comes in. Auto horn sounds 
outside. Patricia runs to door and opens it. 
Enter Miss Lane, Nita and Ruth. Nita dressed 
in old-fashioned gown, hair dressed in style of fifty 
years ago. Miss Lane in street clothes.) 

Miss L. Thank goodness, we're home. Now I must 
try and collect my thoughts. 

(Removes wraps. Patricia takes them out and re- 
turns. ) 

Patsy. Miss Williams was here, ma'am. She said 
she'd be back later. Do you wish me for anything else, 
ma'am ? 

Miss L. No, no, that will do. (Exit Patricia. Miss 
Lane walks agitatedly up and down. ) But where do you 
suppose it could be, child ? I tell you I put it in the little 
pocket in the bodice. I'm sure of it. 

Nita. Well, it's the queerest thing. Auntie. It's not 



PATSY 23 

there now, and I know it wasn't there when I put the 
dress on this morning, because I put the Httle lace ker- 
chief there just as you told me to. 

Miss L. (interrupting). You see, I thought that if 
you put the kerchief there, that you would surely find the 
paper; and that was the way I was going to surprise you. 
(Walks up and doivn, wringing hands.) Oh, was there 
ever anything more unfortunate? 

Ruth. Oh, dear Miss Lane, please don't let yourself 
get all worked up over this. You just sit down here for 
a minute and try and calm yourself. I'm going to call 
my brother Bob and tell him the whole story. He's sure 
to have something to suggest. He's so clever. Or, better 
still, I'll get him on the line and let Nita talk to him. She 
can tell him better than I can. 

( Goes to 'phone. Gives number. ) 

Miss L. Yes, I think that is a good idea. 

Ruth (at 'phone). Hello, hello; may I speak with 
Mr. Fielding, please? — Yes — oh, oh, hello. Bob? Hello, 
dear, this is Ruth. Yes, I'm fine, and I'm over at Nita's. 
Yes. Oh, Bob, things have gotten into an awful muddle 
over here. What's the matter? Well, wait a minute, 
Nita's going to tell you all about it. (Nita takes 'phone.) 

Nita. Hello, dear — yes, we are dreadfully upset. 
Tell you everything? Well — here's the story. You see, 
I sat for my picture this morning, and I wore my mother's 
gown, you know. Now it seems that Aunt Lu wanted 
to surprise me with my wedding gift to-day, so in the 
little pocket of the gown she put an envelope, and in the 
envelope was the deed to this house and a very wonder- 
ful check. That was to be the splendid present that 
Aunt Lu was giving to you and me, and she planned 
that I was to find it when I wore the dress to-day. But 
I've got the dress on, and there's no paper at all in the 
pocket. It's simply disappeared and we haven't the 
faintest idea where it has gone to. What? Wait a 
minute. 

Miss L. (interrupting). Don't forget to tell him, 
dear, that I put the paper there myself. I'm sure of it. 



24 PATSY 

NiTA. Aunt Lu says that she put the paper in the 
pocket herself. She's sure of it; and she's dreadfully 
disturbed about the whole thing. Ruth and I both 
thought that you could help us. What shall we do? 
What? Why — yes. Yesterday. Why — all the girls. 
Why, of course. Aren't you clever to have thought of 
all that right away? I was sure you would know what 
to do. Grood-bye, dear — why — what — why — of course — 
of course I do — what — say it — why — I can't — they're all 
right here listening — but you know I do anyway ! Good- 
bye, dear. (Comes to c.) There, darling, didn't I tell 
you Bob would help us? He told me just what to do, 
and he says he knows that the paper will turn up all right. 
He says that he will telephone right away and get all the 
girls to come over here. Then we can ask them if any of 
them saw it when I showed them the dress yesterday. 
He says that surely no one would steal it, because it 
would be of no use to any one, and he'll tell Mr. Sherry 
to stop payment on the check at once. So now don't 
worry any more, darling. I know everything's going to 
be all right. 

Miss L, (rising and kissing her). There, there, dear, 
I shan't spoil your happiness by having the doldrums. 
You always were my little ray of sunshine anyway. 
Bless your heart — you are the image of your sainted 
mother in that dress. May you only live longer 

(Interrupted by entrance of girls, all more or less 
breathless, some carrying hats, some raincoats, um- 
brellas, etc.) 

Beatrice. Well, well, what's all the excitement? 
Bob telephoned me not to lose a minute, and here we are. 

Phyllis. Yes, here we are. 

Rltth (looking out window). Goodness, I haven't an 
umbrella or a raincoat and I think there's a shower com- 
ing up. 

Beatrice. Yes, there is. Mother called us back for 
raincoats. 

Phyllis. Yes, she called us back. 

NiTA. Well, Auntie has lost a very important paper. 



PATSY 25 

She put it in the pocket of this dress just before you girls 
came yesterday, so we wanted to ask if any of you saw 
any paper around when I showed you the dress in the 
afternoon. 

Ruth. I never noticed a thing. 

All in Chorus. Nor I. Not a thing. Nor I. 

(Bell rings. Patricia goes to door, back. Enter 
Hilda. ) 

Hilda. Hello, everybody. Hello, girls. Am I in- 
truding? I just met Mr. Fielding as I was on the way 
up, and he told me the whole story. {To Miss Lane.) 
Can I be of any help? 

Miss L. Why, no, thank you just the same, but I don't 
see what any one can do. 

Hilda (with a little shiver). My, but it's grown 
chilly. It's getting very dark and I think we'll have a 
storm before long. By the way, Miss Farrell, what did 
you do with the dress after you showed it to the girls? 

Nita (hesitates as though thinking). Why — I — don't 
just — remember. 

Ruth. Why, Nita, don't you know we went down 
the road with the girls (Girls all nod.), and you 

Nita. Yes, that's right. I called Patsy in and told 
her to hang the dress away. Perhaps she can tell us 
something. (Rings. Enter Patricia. Very impress- 
ively.) Now, Patsy, I want you to put your thinking 
cap on and try and remember about yesterday afternoon. 

Patsy. Oh, but Miss, honest I told you all about that 
hat business, and I 

Nita. Oh, no, it's nothing more about that, Patsy. 
This is something quite different. Do you remember 
when I asked you to hang this gown away for me, after 
I had shown it to the girls? (Patricia nods.) Well, 
did you notice anything in this little pocket? (Points 
to bodice.) Any paper or envelope? (Suggestively.) 

Patsy (shakes head slowly as if thinking). Why no. 
Miss Nita, I really can't remember 

Miss L. (interrupting) . Here, let's have a little more 
light in here. It's getting so dark it makes me nervous. 



26 PATSY 

I like to see people's faces when I talk to them. (Gees 
to window, ist l., then back, and lets shades go up to 
limit.) There, that's better ! 

Patsy (with a start). Oh, glory be to Peter, don't do 
that, Miss Lane ; please don't do that ! 

Miss L. (standing by window at rear, but turning in 
surprise) . And pray, why not ? 

Patsy (in great agitation) . Well, it's not the thing to 
be doin' right now. I — oh, good Lord, Miss Lane, please 
come over here, now do. There's a good girl. 

Miss L. Girl ! Why, what do you mean? Have you 
taken leave of your senses? And pray why should I 
move away from my own window if I choose to stand 
here? I must say your actions look very queer to me. 
Patsy, and I'd like to know 

Patsy (miserably). Well, ye might get struck by 
lightning. 

Miss L. Lightning! Why, there hasn't been a spark 
of lightning — nor drop of rain either. The window's 
wide open. I think the shower's passing over anyway. 

Patsy. Well, I can't think of no other reason any- 
way ; but I just wish that you'd come away from 

(She is interrupted by a white object thrown in at 
window, striking Miss Lane squarely. All give 
little shriek. Miss Lane throws up hands and sinks 
into chair, half-fainting. Apron falls to floor. All 
is excitement. Exclamations from girls.) 

NiTA. She's fainted! It was the shock! Get some 
water ! 

(Ruth runs for water, Hilda bathes Miss Lane's fore- 
head. NiTA kneels by Miss Lane's side and strokes 
her hand. Patricia stands in corner R. front, pic- 
ture of despair.) 

Hilda. There, there, she's all right now. It was just 
the shock. 

(Girls all scatter about stage.) 



PATSY 27 

NiTA (rising). It just frightened you, Auntie; it was 
nothing but a bit of paper, I think. (Picking it up.) No, 
it's cloth. 

Miss L. (nervously). Don't touch it, dear, don't touch 
it. It might be a bomb ! 

Patsy. Don't be afraid, Miss Lane, it'll never hurt ye. 
It's only my apron. 

Miss L. (wrathfully). Your apron! That miserable 
girl ! This is some more of your doings. You'll be the 
ruination of this house if you stay here much longer. 
So that's why you wanted me to move from the window. 
You knew this thing was going to happen. Well, what 
have you to say for yourself ? 

Patsy (half aside). I've got enough to say, but I'm 
afraid to say it ! 

(Meanwhile Hilda has taken the apron. She shakes 
it out and sees a paper pinned to the front. Looks 
at Patricia.) 

Hilda. Why, this is the apron I returned to you this 
morning, Patsy. I should think after my warning you 
would have known enough to be more careful. There's a 
note pinned on it. I suppose it's for you. 

Miss L. (sarcastically) . Yes, no doubt it's from that 
same admirer of yours for whom you wore the hats. 

(Patricia nods miserably and begins to cry. Wipes 
eyes with corner of apron.) 

Hilda. Here, use this one. It's wrinkled already. 

(Hands Patricia other apron. Patricia sniffles, 
takes it, glances at note, starts in astonishment, steps 
into c. front.) 

Patsy. Well, may the saints preserve us, and will ye 
hear this from Barry : " This is a moighty poor kind of a 
love letter. Sure I don't want a house. I want a wife." 
(Hands paper to Miss Lane. "And if ye really want to 
timpt me with a check, don't make it out fer annything 
less than a million. Barry.") 



28 PATSY 

Miss L. The deed to the house! Well, where on 
earth did he get it? 

Patsy. Well, ye all jumped on me so I couldn't think 
at all, at all. I never git a chance to say a word here 
anyhow. (Miss Lane throws up hands. Nita and 
Ruth exchange amused glances. Hilda shakes head.) 
But now that ye've given me a minute to catch me breath, 
why I'll tell you. Now I remember that letter. I found 
it on the floor when I was hanging the dress away and I 
picked it up and put it in me apron pocket. This after- 
noon I had a — well, a little souvenir for Barry (the poor 
boy is so lonesome out there on the beat all day), so I 
just wrapped it up in me apron and tossed it to him from 
the window. I told him that when I let the shade go up 
that was a sign that the coast was clear and he was to 
toss it back to me — and — well — that's all there is to it. 

Miss L. All ? Well, I think that's quite enough, don't 
you? I've half a mind to give 

Nita. Now, Auntie dear, I don't want to make any 
one unhappy when it's so near my wedding day. I'm 
sure Patsy's learned a lesson. You will be good from 
now on, won't you, Patsy? 

Patsy (wrathfully) . Be good, be good. Sure, that's 
just what I been trying to be all this time. Sure, it looks 
to me that the more I'm good, the more I'm bad. I 
nivver know what to do. 

Miss L. Well, as long as we have the deed back I 
suppose I'll have to forgive you, since my niece asks it, 
but I do hope you'll profit by this lesson and be a little 
more careful in the future. Come, dear ( To Nita. ) , you 
must get out of this dress. We'll all go up-stairs for a 
while and the girls must all stay for a bite to repay them 
for their trouble in coming over here in such a hurry. 
[Exit Miss Lane, Nita and Girls. 

Patsy (sinking into a chair). Well, well, and what a 
day this has been. Sure, me nerves are all of a tremble. 
(Leans back and shuts eyes as if resting. Telephone 
rings. She anszvers.) Hello, hello — yes, this is me — 
sure, who do you think it would be? Did we get the 
bundle all right ? Well — I — should — say — we did ! Lucky 



PATSY 29 

for you I didn't wrap the souvenir in an iron case. Did 
it land? Oh, sure it landed fine, and say, Barry, I've 
decided one thing — yes, that ye'd make a much better 
pitcher on a ball team than you do a policeman. Yes, 
bad cess to ye. That's so. 

{Curtain slowly falls during conversation.) 



CURTAIN 



THE CONJURER 

A Dramatic Mystery in Three Acts 

By Mansfield Scott 

Author of" The Submarine Shell," " The Air-Spy," *t4. 

Bight male, four female characters. Costumes, modern ; MMterj, twv 
ea»y intcrion. Plays a full evening. Royalty for amateur perforinaiie*, 
lio.oo for the first and $5.00 each for subsequent performance! by the 
same company. Free for school performance. George Clifford, in- 
capacitated for service at the front, employs his great talents as a conjurer 
to raise sMney for the soldiers. He is utilized by Inspector Steele, of the 
U. S. Secret Service, in a plan to discover certain foreign spies. The plan 
goes wrong and involves seven persons in suspicion of a serioui crime. 
Clifford's clever unravelling of this tangled skein constitute* the thrilling 
plot of this play, the interest of which is curiously like that of the popular 
"Thirteenth Chair." This is not a " war-play " save in a veiy renote 
and indirect way, but a clever detective story of abeorbiag iattrMt. 
Strongly recommended. 

Price, J5 cents 

CHARACTERS 

Inspector Malcome Steele. Driscoll Wells, 

George Clifford. Doctor Gordon Pbak. 

Captain Frank Drummond Detective White. 

Gleason. Marion Anderson. 

Lieutenant Hamilton War- Edith Anderson. 

WICK. Ellen Gleason. 

Colonel Willard Anderson. Dorothy Elmstrom. 

SYNOPSIS 

Act I. — The home of Colonel Anderson (Friday evening). 
Act II. — The office of Inspector Steele (Saturday aftcrnooa). 
Act III. — The tame as Act II (Saturday evening). 



THE OTHER VOICE 

A Play in One Act 

By S. vK. Fairbanks 
Three voieci, preferably male, are employed in this little novelty whiflh 
U intended to be presented upon a dark stage upon which nothin* ie 
actually visible save starlight. It was originally produced at Workuop 
47, Cambridge, where its effective distillation of the essential oil of tragedy 
was curiously successful. An admirable item for any programme fleekiag 
variety of material and effect. Naturally no costumes nor aoenerr arc re- 
quired, save » drop carrying stars and possibly a city sky-line. PUye tea 
miutttM only ; royalty, 3$.oo. 

Price, as ««'* 



HITTY'S SERVICE FLAG 

A Comedy in I'wo Acts 

By Gladys Ruth Bridgham 

Eleven female characters. Costumes, modern ; scenery, an interior. 

Plays an hour and a quarter. Hitty, a patriotic spinster, quite alone in 

tiie world, nevertheless hangs up a service flag in her window without 

any right to do so, and opens a Tea Room for the benefit of the Red 

Cross. She gives shelter to Stella 1 lassy under circumstances that close 

other doors against her, and offers refuge to Marjorie Winslow and her 

little daughter, whose father in France finally gives her the right to the 

flag. A strong dramatic presentation of a lovable character and an idea) 

patriotism. Strongly recommended, especially for women's clubsc 

Price, 2J cents 

CHARACTERS 

MeHITABLE JUDSON, aged ^o. 

LUELLA Perkins, aged 40. 

Stasia Brown, aged 40. 

Mildred Emerson, aged 16. 

Marjorie Winslow. aged 25. 

Barbara Winslow, her daughter, aged 6. 

Stella Hassv. aged 25, but claims to be youHggr. 

Mrs. Irving Winslow, aged 4^. 

Marion Winslow. her daughter, aged 20. 

Mrs. Esi'erbrook, aged 4^. 

Mrs. Cobb, anywhere from 40 to 60. 

THE KNITTING CLUB MEETS 

A Comedy in One Act 

By Helen Sherman Griffith 

Nine female characters. Costumes, modern; scenery, r.n i.iter'.or. 

Plays half an hour, Eleanor will not forego luxuries nor in other wayf 

"do her bit," putting herself befoie Iier country; but when her old 

enemy, Jane Rivers, comes to the Knitting Club straight from France to 

tell the story of her experiences, she is moved to forget her quarrel and 

leads them all in her sacrifices to the cause. An admirably stimulating 

piece, ending with a " melting pot " to which the audience may also be 

asked to contribute. Urged as a decided novelty in patriotic plays. 

Price, 25 cents 

GETTING THE RANGE 

A Comedy in One Act 
By Helen Sherman Griffith 
Eight female characters. Costumes, modern; scenery, an exterior. 
Well suited for out of door performances. Plays an hour and a quarter. 
Information of value to the enemy somehow leaks out from a frontier 
town and the leak cannot be found or stopped. But Captain Brooke, of 
the Secret Service, finally locates the offender amid a maze of false clues, 
in the person of a washerwoman who hangs out her clothes day after day in 
ways and places to give the desired information. A capital play, w«U 
recommended. IVice, aj cents 



«^. 



'jAk:^6k^ 



Plays for Junior High Schools 



Sally Luna 

Mr. Bob 

The Man from Brandon 

A Box of Monkeys 

A Rice Pudding 

Class Day 

Cbums 

An Easy Mark 

Pa's New Housekeeper 

Not On tlie Program 

The Cool Collegians 

The Elopement of Elleo 

Tommy's Wife 

Johnny's New Suit 

Thirty Minutes for Refreshmeote 

West of Omaha 

The Flying Wedge 

My Brother's Keeper 

The Private Tutor 

Me an' Otis 

Up to Freddie 

My Cousin Timmy 

Aunt Abigail and the Boyy 

Caught Out 

Constantine Pueblo Jotacs 

The Cricket On the Hearth 

The Deacon's Second Wife 

Five Fe'^t of Love 

The Hurdy Gurdy Girl 

Camp Fidelity Girls 

Carroty Neil 

A Case for Sherlock Holmef 

The Clancey Kids 

The Happy Day 

I Grant You Three Wishes 

Just a Little Mistake 

The Land of Night 

Local and Long Distance 

The Original Two Bits 

An Outsider 

Oysters 

A Pan of Fudge 

A Peck of Trouble 

A Precious Pickle 

The First National Boot 

His Father's Son 

The Turn In the Road 

A Half Back's Interference 

The Revolving Wedge 

Mose 



irv 



BAKER, Hamilton 



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2;jC 


!ace, Boston, 


Mass. 





r-^T^T^-^-^^^^^"^*'^^^-^^-'^-'*^^^-^'^^ 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 



Plays and Novelties That Have J o 015 937 285 6 



Camp Fidelity Qlrls 

Anita's Trial 

Tlie Farmerette 

Belilnd the Scenes 

The Camp Fire Girls 

A Case for Sherlock (lolmeo 

The House in Laurel Lane 

Her First Assignment 

I Grant You Three Wishes 

Joint Owners in Spain 

Marrying Money 

The Original Two Bits 

The Over-Alls Club 

Leave it to Polly 

The Rev. Peter Brice, Bacbekir 

Mfss Fearless & Co. 

A Modern Cinderella 

Theodore, Jr. 

Rebecca's Triumph 

Aboard a Slow Train in Mizzoary 

Twelve Old Maids 

An Awkward Squad 

The Dlow-Up of Algernon Blow 

The Doy Scouts 

A Close Shave 

T'lic First National Boot 

A HaIf°Dack'8 Inteilcrence 

His Father's Son 

The Man With the Nose 

On the Quiet 

The People's Money 

A Regular Rah I Rah I Bof 

A Regular Scream 

Schmcrccase in School 

The Scoutmaster 

The Tramps' Convention 

The Turn in the Road 

Wanted— a Pitcher 

What They Did for Jenkins 

Aunt Jerusha'g Quilting Party 

The District School at Blueberry 

Corners 
The Emigrants' Party 
Miss Prim's Kindergarten 
A Pageant of History 
The Revel of the Year 
Scenes in the Union Depot 
Taking the Census in Bingville 
The Village Post-Office 
O'Keefe's Circuit 



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Priei 

35c 
35c 

35c 
25 c 

25c 

35c 
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25c 

35c 
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35c 
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25c 

35c 

25c 
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25c 
35c 
35c 



Rc/altjr 
None 



iJS.oo 
None 



BAKER, Hamilton Place. Boston, Mass. 



"A 



181717 



